I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I was the kid who watched hallmark constantly, but never without my brothers’ and dad’s comments about how they “knew how it would end”. Despite this, I always just wanted to find a love like in the movies. Everyone always told that it was impossible and that I’d never find someone like that. As I grow older, I still am a hopeless romantic, but I’ve also realized some truths to the idea of true love. I still believe that one day I will find the person that I can spend the rest of my life with in love, but I’m in no rush. Instead, the rush for me is to find that kind of love for myself.
As a hopeless romantic, I’ve spent hours reading love quotes. I could recite some of the cheesiest lines you’ve ever heard or some of the deepest and most emotional lines you’ve ever heard. While I know a lot, there are a certain few that always seemed to stick with me. In this post, I wanted to focus on one.
This quote is one of the few that I don’t have memorized and isn’t as common as others, so I will attempt to paraphrase it for you. “True love isn’t what you’d expect. It’s not all happiness and living together and just waking up. It’s more about death. It’s being able to watch your partner ‘die’ as they grow. They shed their old selves to grow into new people. True love is all about supporting them. It’s all about being able to attend all of those funerals of their old persons while knowing that they’re just going to get better. It’s about not focusing on their past selves, but rather who they are now.”
So obviously this quote isn’t very common for a reason. Not many people would relate true love to death in a happy way. But despite the peculiarity of this quote, I think a lot can be taken from it. There is the direct meaning in which you have to love your significant other throughout all of the changes in each other’s lives and to not give up on them. On the other hand, I’d like to share what I think of this quote besides that.
The idea of true love as it pertains to this quote is about change. As humans, we are constantly changing whether that be for better or worse. As I said before, I wanted to focus on the idea of self love. I believe it is difficult to ever love ourselves fully because we refuse to acknowledge all of the changes we are going through. We as a society need to realize that even if we are individually changing, we still deserve love. If we can’t recognize that change doesn’t always equal bad, we’ll forever be stuck in the loop of trying to find self love but it always be slightly out of reach.
I look at my computer screen everyday, and it’s filled with a collage of pictures of me from a large range of years. Sometimes, when I get upset I like to look at the pictures and see the past versions of myself. It is reassuring to me to see how I’ve grown even if I still look the same. I’ve learned more, I’ve made more mistakes, I’ve changed emotionally, I’ve become more open minded, I’ve tried to be more kind, I’ve tried to let loose and stop thinking about others’ opinions of me. Is it difficult? Of course it is. I’ve spent hours thinking that I must just be a terrible person now compared to my childhood self, but that’s not true at all. I’ve just become a little more self aware and gone through a whole lot of change.
So to do a little wrap up: true love doesn’t always have to mean in a relationship. Sometimes it just means that you’ve realized that you’re deserving of love no matter what. There is always change and also time to change, so your life will never be one set thing. So love every step, and don’t get lost in the crazy changes.