Now, whatever you thought about while reading this, just know it’ll be okay. We’re taught from a young age that the best thing to do is to not feel our emotions for so long and to push them away. But, alas that is not the best for us. It causes us to feel those emotions even more strongly, and we feel like we can’t tell anyone.
When your mind is stuck on something or when something is bothering you a bunch, feel it. Let the feeling wash over you–good or bad– and learn something from it. There will always be something happening in your life, so there isn’t really a point to pushing everything away forever. In the end, it will take more energy to avoid the feelings than to just feel them.
In one of my classes, we’ve started covering something called self-management and self-awareness. These two things are very important to management in a business, which means it must be pretty important in general. Self-awareness is being able to notice how certain emotions affect you or how you affect others. Similarly, self-management is the activity of how you actually handle these emotions. Are you able to calmly ignore engaging in a fight? Will you yell at your intern for something they couldn’t control? Do you need to apologize to someone for the way you’ve treated them recently? It can be a pretty hard thing to do, but self-management and self-awareness will impact your life more than you think possible.
Learning to deal with your emotions towards yourself and toward others will make you a healthier and more respected human being. And to top it off, you’ll hopefully be happier because of less conflict within your life. I don’t want you to think that I’m saying you should control your emotions by just avoiding them. No. Not at all. I’m saying you need to be able to understand them. To be able to feel them without acting on them.
You can also apply the idea of feeling but not acting to the beginning phrase: “It’s time to move on”. When someone tells you to move on, most likely you will feel anger along with whatever emotion you were already trying to process. Imagine if you just were able to feel that anger but then have it fade so you didn’t become overwhelmed with so many emotions. It is fully 100% okay to not be able to move on from things. Some things especially are nearly impossible to move on from, but you can’t let it rule your life. If that “thing” is making you upset, allow yourself to recognize that but do not let your whole life become sadness.
You are not just your emotions. You are how you choose to express those emotions, how you treat others, how you live your life, and how you think of yourself. So, maybe it’s not time for you to move on, but it is time to think of how you can help yourself move on.